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Dear Sista
Ask Sista

Welcome! Need some sound advice, or just someone to talk to? Ask Sista! She will dig deep into her pocket of wisdom and lay it on the line for you. Sista will neva advise you to do something she hasn’t already done herself, but then again…she just might. “Dear Sista” serves as the Dear Abby column for La’ie and “all around da world sprat” (inside joke…see Sosina Feinga for details). So if you need to clear your mind...make no delay…talk to Sista today

Note: For confidentiality purposes we suggest you use a fictitious name; word or phrase to identify yourself and you will be addressed accordingly.


Q. Dear Sista, I would like to get a personalized surfboard. Where would you suggest I go to find someone honest and trustworthy and a good price. I don't need a top of the line one. Just a real surfboard with a design and my name on it. - Loves surfing
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Q. Dear Sista, I live in the mainland. I would like to find a place to say in Laie on vacation. I would prefer to stay in a place owned by LDS people. Hopefully it's not too expensive. Is there a time of year where it may be cheaper than another time? Maybe some housing that is used by BYU students. Thanks - Anonymous
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Q. Dear Sista, I have a brother in law who is very deeply addicted to meth. This drug has affected his life & those around him very negatively. He is 40yrs old, lives @ home , doesnt have a job or attempts to get one, is extremely disrespectful to his parents, throws tantrums when he doesnt get his way, is a dead beat dad & etc.... the list goes on. The thing is, non of his siblings or parents are doing anything. They complain about his behavior but yet no attempts to help him or the situation . Is there a way I can bring this up with the family or a suggestion to fix this problem? - In da middle
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Q. Dear Sista, my husband & I have been having marrital problems due to a pornography addiction he has been battling thru out our 10yr marriage. To make a long story short, i have stood by his side thru it all. He has been working real hard lately to make up for the damage that has been done to our relationship. The problem is that im screwed up emotionally from this. There is trust,insecurity & self esteem issues that I have a hard time dealing with. Many of our arguments stem from his lack of sensitivity & patience with these feelings. He gets frustrated with me because I cant move fwd. A problem that could of been solved with undrstanding & love is answered with anger & pride.I am frustrated & ready to give up. I feel like I have stood by his side thru so much heartache but when I need him he is quick to abandon me. I have worked very hard @ my marriage and am hurt that he wont do them same for me.For the love of my kids I will try to endure all I can but I am wondering if this marriage is worth it my sanity. - Wants to be happy
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Q. Dear Sista, I am having problems managing school,church callings, self image, and boys what advice can you give me? - Anonymous
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Q. Dear Sista, I have a self image problem, people keep telling me that my head is oversized and that my ears are to big. I try not to let it affect me but I just can't help it. What should I do? - Anonymous
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Q. Dear Sista, I know this is "Ask Sista" but thought I share some tips for a better life and hope that it will help some of your writers and readers. 1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to. 3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to________ today.' 4. Eat more foods that grow on plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants. 5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts. 6. Try to make at least three people smile each day. 7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment. 8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card. 9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present. 14. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. 16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?' 17. Forgive everyone for everything. 18. What other people think of you is none of your business. 19. GOD can heal everything in His plan. We just need to trust His bigger picture. 20. However good or bad a situation may seem God is in control. 21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!! 22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: 'I am thankful for _____.' 'Today I accomplished______.' 24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed. 25. Please Forward this to everyone you care about. - Anon
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Q. Dear Sista, I have had overwhelming and difficult personal challenges lasting for over 2 years. I haven't had a vacation or any fun during that time. I am so tired. Any suggestions as to how I can get the strenght I need to carry on. I just wish my life would get easier or simpler so I can have time for myself. Any suggestions? Thanks! - Just wondering...
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Q. Dear Sista, What are your Christmas traditions? - Anonymous
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Q. Dear Sista, Can you please tell me what the secret is to financially surviving in Hawaii? I miss home and really want to raise my kids there. I want them to have the experiences that I had attending laie elementry...mayday,culture day,etc... It just seems impossible to be able to afford to raise my family in Hawaii. Any tips on how I could move my family home? - stuck in the mainland
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Q. Dear Sista, I grew up in Laie and miss all the fun we use to have. Carnivals, Bazaars at Laie elementary school, Thursday night specials at PCC theater, what happened to all of that? - Missing the Good Old Days
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Q. Dear Sista, I have a friend who is interested in the church. I have been dating him for a few months. He is black and has lots of questions, especially about why blacks couldn't hold the priesthood. I really like him, but at the same time I don't want to offend him in any way. Please help! - Just sharing
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Q. Dear Sista, I am 17 years old and planning to go to college when I graduate from high school. I am a straight A student. I have received letters in the mail from Stanford and Harvard. My parents are discouraging me from going to either one because they don't think they can afford it. In fact they can't afford it. I have worked hard to get where I am and to not have my parents support me is very disappointing. - Disappointed
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Q. Dear Sista, I hava always been curious to tight knit communities. Why do people get other people's business. Especially in a community that is strong religion that teaches us to be christ like and not to cast the first stone. Its seems like we take things for granted. I only wish that we can become better brother and sistahs and become bettah nieghbors and even a bettah community by just loving one another and not getting into someone elses business and making gossip out of it. Just wanted your thoughts on this. Mahalo Curious - Curious
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Q. Dear Sista, I am a senior attending (undisclosed) high school. I have an issue. my sexual orientation. I'm gay and no one knows that I am. I'm afraid to let my family and friends know because if I do then I won't have them in my life anymore. It all started when I was in elementary. me and this boy (undisclosed) had some gay like activities. We are still doing this. I also play football this year and I find myself checking out my team mates. I don't know how to break this to everyone. - Anonymous
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